Help Others | Jealousy

In this episode we will discuss 2 topics, reaching back and helping others out and jealousy. We will look at Tim McGraw for some examples and inspiration.

Tim McGraw is one of the greatest singers and performers of country music. He is also a dedicated husband and father. After dropping out of college he moved to Nashville with dreams of becoming a huge country star. During his time as a struggling musician, playing clubs and writing songs he meets a young Jo Dee Messina.

Tim eventually gets a record deal with Curb Records and releases his first few albums. His first album failed to reach the success he was hoping but both his second and his third album went platinum.

Now that Tim has some power and money due to the success of his albums he decided to reach back and help his friend, Jo Dee Messina. He tells her that he is willing fund and co-produce her first album. Here is an artist that has sold over 40 million records has the empathy to reach back and pulling his friends up.

This concept of reaching back and pulling someone else out, is describe well in this Denzel Washington commencement speech,

We all can do this right now. Reach back and help someone else out that doesn’t have as much money, food, or talent as you. Maybe you can help someone out with lessons or just simply donating your time.

Jo Dee Messina credits Tim McGraw for her success and claims that she wouldn’t have a career if it wasn’t for Tim.

The second topic I want to discuss is jealously. This is something we all struggle with especially as artists.

For example, maybe a friend of yours gets a record deal or places a song on a TV or their band goes on tour. Because this may be something that we want for ourselves we get jealous over their success.

What if we flipped our thinking? What if we are genuinely happy and excited for their accomplishments? We should encourage our friends success because in order for us to be successful we have to hang around successful people. If your friend becomes successful, you have now gained another successfully person in your life to help you along your journey.

We are a collection of the 5 people that we hang out with the most. So if you hang out with losers, chances are you will be a loser also. But if you hang around successfully people then there is more likely hood that you will be successful.

Plus, this friend of yours that is now on tour they may ask you to come play on stage with them, write a song with them, or refer your name to someone else.

Although fighting jealousy can be something that is a struggle for us to overcome, it can be done by simply flipping the way we think of it. Always remembers that the success of your friends or people around you will only help you in the long run.

To recap, always reach back and help someone else out and stop being jealous of others.

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Overnight Success

This Van Halen motivational 4K video is about the myth of overnight success. There is no overnight success. When you think someone has overnight success and you go back and look at them, they had a long working struggle to make it. No band or artists pops out of nowhere to make it.

You don’t want overnight success. To make it, you need that struggle and to climb up step by step. If you get there too quick, you will fall just as quick.

We are going to look at Van Halen as our example of “overnight success.”

Van Halen has sold over 100 million albums, it didn’t just happen for them. It was a grind and struggle to make it.

I’m talking about the original Van Halen lineup of Eddie Van Halen on guitar, Alex Van Halen on drums, David Lee Roth on vocals, and Michael Anthony on bass.

Originally Alex played guitar and Eddie played drums, but they soon realized that they needed to switch instruments. Guitar came to Eddie quickly and easily. After school while most kids were out playing, Eddie and Alex would go home to practice music.

In 1971 Eddie and Alex formed the band, The Trojan Rubber Company. This was before Roth and Anthony joined the band. They would play backyard parties and schools playing covers of Cream, Aerosmith, and Black Sabbath.

Eddie would sit there for hours trying to emulate Clapton. Eddie said that Clapton was the only guitar player that ever really “touched him.”

A year later they changed the band name to Genesis, with Mark Stone on bass. They soon learned that about real band called, Genesis, and they changed name to Mammoth.

David Lee Roth had a band called, Red Ball Jet. Roth’s uncle owned Cafe Wha in New York and Roth saw and was influenced by greats such as Jimi Hendrix and Bob Dylan.

One summer, Mammoth and Red Ball Jet played against each other at a Battle of the Bands in Hamilton Park, Pasadena.

After their PA blew up, Mammoth use to rent a PA from Roth. During this time Eddie played guitar and was the lead vocalist. Eddie and Alex realized that even though they loved 3 piece bands like Cream and the Jimi Hendrix Experience, bands like Led Zeppelin and The Rolling Stones were gaining more success with a lead singer.

Eventually they asked Roth to join the band because they needed a lead singer and so they wouldn’t have to rent his PA anymore.

After joining the band Roth suggested changing name to Van Halen.

In 1974 Van Halen started playing in Hollywood and got a residency at “Gazzarris.” In the meantime Michael Anthony was going to Pasadena College and in a band called “Snake.”

Van Halen met Michael Anthony when both bands played at Pasadena High School. Again Van Halen’s PA blew up and Michael Anthony let them use his. They thought Anthony was great and asked him to join the band.

Van Halen played tons of clubs including the Starwood, Whiskey, and Troubadour and began to mix in more of their own material. They rehearsed everyday and played 4 nights a week.

“Set your own goals to work your ass off, all the time, every time” – David Lee Roth

One night at the Starwood Gene Simmons saw them and helped them record a 13 song demo in New York. Due to the success of Kiss, Simmons believed he could get Van Halen a record deal. Although Simmons didn’t get them a deal he did get the demo in the hands of Marshall Borough, which later became their first manager.

Van Halen signed a record deal with Warner Bros in May 1977.

On February 10th, 1978 – Van Halen I was released. The album went platinum within a few months and sold over 2 million copies. The album included such great songs as Runnin’ With The Devil, Eruption, and You Really Got Me.

On their first tour they opened for Journey. Next they toured with Black Sabbath in England. Ozzy said Van Halen blew Sabbath off stage every night

Van Halen II was released on March 23rd, 1979, followed by Woman and Children First in 1980, Fair Warning in 1981, and Diver Down in 1982.

In 1982 Eddie played the guitar solo on Michael Jackson’s “Beat It.”

In 1983, Van Halen headlined the US festival, masterminded by Steve Wozniak, which included other bands like The Clash, David Bowie, Stevie Nicks, Stray Cats, Pretenders, and U2. Van Halen got $1.5 million for 1 hour 55 minutes = $13,000 a minute (Genis Book of World Record)

In 1984 they released their last album with the original lineup, 1984. The album was recorded at Eddie’s 5150 Studios, went #2 on the charts, and had a #1 hit with the song, Jump.

David Lee Roth soon left the band to pursue his solo career and Van Halen continued with a few other singers, most notably, Sammy Hagar.

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Go Outside The Box

Today I want to talk to you about going outside the box. Too many times we follow the same path that everyone else is doing now or in the past. It’s time to blaze your own trail, do something different, take chances and be bold. I want to use Bob Dylan for our example today.

Imagine it’s 1965 we’re in the middle of the Vietnam War, there’s a lot of turmoil in the country (US), and you got Bob Dylan, the leading songwriter in the folk style. People looked up to him, the kids looked up to him, and he’s singing about political and social issues. When I’m talking about folk music, I’m talking about acoustic guitar, harmonica, and singing. His lyrics, his style, and his songs touched people. He was on top of the world, he had successful songs like “The Times They Are A-Changin.” Do you think he should play it safe and and just keep doing the same thing? Guess what he didn’t.

Come Sunday July 25th 1965, the Newport Folk Festival, he does something completely different. Matter of fact what he does gets people to boo him. He was ready for a change, people like Dylan always want to expand and do something different. People want to put others in a box and when this happens you’re somewhat limited. You want to get out of that box and do other things and explore other avenues.

For the festival Dylan got Mike Bloomfield on guitar and some of the members of the Paul Butterfield Band. Imagine a Folk Festival where people sitting around drinking wine and eating cheese, and Dylan comes out and electrifies them. Dylan is playing electric guitar, Mike Bloomfield is ripping Blues licks behind him, and the band is loud and a little over driven. Dylan blows people away. He plays 3 songs, “Maggie’s Farm”, “Like a Rolling Stone” which was just released, and “Phantom Engineer.”

People booed him. His loyal fans, people who looked up to him like a hero, boo him after the performance. Why is this? They couldn’t handle what he did. They couldn’t handle him changing it up, doing something different. They expected him to be this, but he wanted to be this over here. He took a big chance. Whenever you’re getting comfortable and your feeling some success and you feel like things are going well, making a change is risky. You have to be bold at that time but that’s exactly the time to do it. Don’t let people get too comfortable with who you are or what you’re doing.

By doing this Dylan opened up this new world. Now instead of just being Bob Dylan, the folk singer, now it’s Bob Dylan the folk rock or the rock singer. This is cool because not only did he open up his world to new avenues, and yes he probably lost some fans along the way, but he broke outside of that box.

There is a great video on Denzel Washington, he’s given a commencement speech at a college and he talks about the old IQ test, it’s 9 dots. You had to draw 5 lines through 9 dots without lifting the pencil. The only way to do it is to go outside the box.

Don’t get trapped doing the same thing over and over again, change it up on people, and keep people guessing. It’s just the way that you’re going to progress and move forward, and you’re actually going to grow. Your going to gain new audiences and expose yourself to new people. Yeah some of the people who like you the way you are, they may talk bad, they may even boo you, but you got to keep changing, you got to be bold, and you got to go outside of the box

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Talent Is A Given

Everyone has talent, you can’t make it as a musician or in any profession if you don’t have talent.

At some point you will realize that everyone is so good. What separates the legendary people versus the average people? That’s what we are going to discuss today.

We are going to examine the professional career of NFL quarterback Tom Brady of the New England Patriots. Nothing has been handed to him and has gone from someone that no one believed in to the most successful quarterback in NFL history.

There are 3 things that stand out about Tom Brady that separates him from all the other quarterbacks that play or have played professional football.

1. Heart
2. Hard Work
3. Taking advantage of opportunities

Even his coach for the Patriots, Bill Belichick, says Tom Brady doesn’t have a lot of natural talent, but he has great instincts, and takes advantage of every opportunity that’s given to him. He works hard and finds a way to win.

Brady was drafted into the NFL in 2000, he was the 199th pick. That means that there were 198 football players selected before him. That was also the 6th round of the draft and there were 6 quarterbacks taken before him. Even the New England Patriots selected 5 other players before they drafted Tom.

Nobody believed that Brady was going to become anything special in the league.

What did Tom Brady achieve? (as of this 2018 video)

– 5 NFL Super Bowl Championships
– 4 Super Bowl MVP’s
– 3 League MVP’s (was 40 years old when he won it in 2018)

How did he do it?

1. Heart – when no one else believes in you, you have to believe in yourself. You have to put people’s opinions behind you and take that frustration and anger and apply it to you work ethic. Apply it to how you think and how your going to get better every single day.

2. Take advantage of your opportunities – In 2001, Brady’s 2nd year, starting quarterback Drew Bledsoe goes out for the season with an injury. This was Tom’s change to step up and become a leader. He not only has a successful season but he leads the Patriots to the Super Bowl and wins.

– How did do this? He had to be ready, he had to prepared, he had to put the work in beforehand and be ready when his number was called.

– People are given opportunities in this world all the time but many of them are not ready, they are not prepared physically or mentally. These people you never hear about.

– How do Brady get prepared? Day in and day out grinding, learning, watching film, and always getting better.

– How are you taking care of your body and mind? What’s your routine, are you getting enough sleep, are you eating right, are you exercising properly and doing the things necessary for your body?

– What are you doing for your mind? How are you growing, how are you getting stronger? You have to have a powerful mindset that keeps you going every single day.

3. Work Ethic – This is what separates the talented from the legendary. There will always be someone younger then you and better than you. The way to overcome this is to up work your competition. You may have to stay up all night, you have to learn, you have to watch videos, you have to get mentors, and grow everyday. You can’t control others but you can control is how hard you work.

Everyone has talent, the person that is going to become legendary is the one that works the hardest. Think Tom Brady, think 199.

Get Tom Brady’s new book TB12

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Small Wins & Gratitude

Be thankful and give yourself small wins. I was inspired by Les Brown when he said, “Be gentle with yourself.”

I know for me in the past I have always been very critical of myself. No matter how well I did something I seemed to look at what went wrong or what I could I have done better.

Although self-analyzation after a performance is good, does it come before or after you pat yourself on the back and say “good job?”

I would guess that you are just like me and tend to beat yourself up mentally if things don’t go perfect. And guess what, they never go perfect. We are not perfect.

Think about the last time you did something such as played a gig, gave a speech at school, gave a presentation at work, or played a game. How did you do? I bet it wasn’t perfect. I bet that no matter how much you rehearsed it didn’t go exactly like it did when you were practicing at home. This is typical of everyone.

Although they say practice makes perfect, it’s not always true. There are too many variables and possibilities of things going wrong when we are doing something in front of a live audience. I will that the more you practice and get your mindset right, you increase the likelihood that you will perform better and deal with variables, but rarely will you be perfect.

The greatest batter in the history of baseball, Ted Williams, had a batting average of 400 during his greatest season. That means he only got a hit 4 out of every 10 times he was up at the plate.

Next question, after your performance was over, how did you handle it? I’m sure you were relieved that is was over but what was the first thing you said to yourself? Did you give yourself credit for working hard and doing your best” or was it “I made a mistake here or I could have done this or that better?” Do you get down on yourself?

For me I use to focus on the negatives, the mistakes or the short comings. But this has been something I have been working hard to overcome and here is a personal story on how I have worked on it.

Every morning when I go out for my jog, I time myself. I like to track my results to see how I’m doing and if I’m improving. I realized that a majority of the time, if I didn’t beat my fastest time ever I would get down on myself about why I was running so slow. I wouldn’t take into account anything positive but just focus on the negative. It wasn’t until one day, I felt really good running but when I finished I didn’t beat my best time. My first reaction was disappointment and I was really hard on myself for not performing better. 15 minutes later when I was writing down my time and comparing it to previous times, I noticed that my time was the 3rd fastest that I ever ran sinceI had been tracking my progress.

I realized how critical I had been being on myself. Here I am out running at 5 am, in the dark, pushing myself when nobody else is around and I’m getting down on myself. It didn’t make sense and I began to ask myself, what’s wrong with this picture? I realized I needed to adjust my mindset and focus on some positive or small wins. From that moment on, no matter what my time is, I’m going to be happy with myself. And not just happy but completely stoked and excited, even if it’s just for getting out and doing it.

This has made me much happier in my life. All I had to do was to simply shift my mindset and interrupt an event in a positive way rather than in a negative way.

Now as you look back at your day you should be able to find at least 3-5 things that you did well and can tell yourself good job. This small win can be anything like you practiced hard today, You focused when you studied, did a great job at work, were a loving and caring parent or just were friendly to people you met. Take some credit for those things and be gentle on yourself.

Here’s something I do that will help you. Everynight when I get into bed, I get out a journal I keep on my bedside table. I have to use the light on my flashlight as my wife is usually asleep but I write down 3 things I did well that day. No matter how bad I may perceive how my day went, I always find 3 things to write.

Next I write 3 things that I am thankful for. These can be anything at all that you have gratitude for, your spouse, kids, parents, health, wealth, energy, opportunities, peace, love, wisdom, humility.

Remember the day is over, no matter what happened I will guarantee that you did at least 3 things well and you have 3 things you are grateful for. This will help you close the day and have powerful positive dreams. Remember that tomorrow is a new day, a day to reset and refocus, but always remember to give yourself small wins.

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Live In The Present Moment

Episode #3 – The present moment is the only thing that is real. Too many times we worry about the future or thinking of the past.

Strive not to judge, everyday and every situation is beautiful, accept it for what it is and be thankful for the opportunity you have each day.

Some days the skies are clear and other days the skies are cloudy. One is not better than the other, it’s just different.

Surfing is a big part of my life but once my kids were born my days in the water were drastically cut down. Saturday morning was the only day I got to get in the water and surf.

But I realized that I had to learn to appreciate every second I was in the water. It didn’t matter to me if the waves were big or small, if it was sunny or cloudy, or if it was windy or calm, I was thankful just to be in the water for an hour or two.

I constantly hear other surfers judging the moment, saying things like “Wednesday was a lot bigger” or “next week it’s suppose to be really good.”

It’s funny because although I spend much less time in the water these days than I use to, I find that I enjoy my limited time even more.

Remember that there are two sides to everything, a yin and a yang. Each day has a night, and if something is the best than something must be the worse.

Try to appreciate whatever you are experiencing at the moment because there is beauty all around us.

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No Plan B

Episode #2 – There is a great quote from Will Smith that says, there is no plan B, that having a plan B only distracts from plan A.

As I look back at my musical career I realize that this is the exact mindset that I have had. Being a musician is a difficult career path, there is lots of competition and it’s not the steady 9-5 job that a majority of people settle for.

My love for music really began to blossom as a teenager when I got my first guitar and was hooked on guitar players like Eddie Van Halen and Jimmy Page of Led Zeppelin

My dad also had a big influence on me as I was constantly surrounded by great classic rock music by bands such as The Doobie Brothers, Neil Diamond, Supertramp, Bob Seger, and The Rolling Stones.

After my career as a baseball player ended I made the commitment that I was going to dedicate my life to music.

This lead me to studying music at the local community college, then to an undergraduate degree from San Diego State University, and then a teaching assistant position at the University of Southern California where I got my Master of Music in Studio/Jazz Guitar.

After school I sent 15 years in Los Angeles as a working musician. In order to keep my dream alive as a musician I worked in a diverse amount of settings that included playing in original and cover bands, studio and touring work, composer of music for TV and film, and playing a wide variety of instruments including guitar, ukulele, singing, banjo, pedal steel, mandolin and drums.

I also was a producer, written and published guitar and ukulele books, and run education website teaching people how to play guitar and ukulele. I have been very fortunate to work with some great artists such as Weezer, Josh Groban, Christopher Tin, Robbie Krieger, and the Los Angeles Philharmonic. I also have a passion and dedication to education and helping people learn the craft of music.

Even though I have achieved a lot of success in my career it was never an easy ride. I had to do whatever it took to make my dreams a reality.

Although at times I felt like it would be easier if I settled and took a more “steady” or “traditional” job like becoming a lawyer or contractor, I never did because I knew that it would take away or even kill my career.

I even got very close a few times at getting a full time college teaching job, although I was disappointed at the time, I realized that if I had those jobs they would have taken away from the many opportunities that came my way.

What do you have to do? The first thing you have to do is find out what you are passionate about. The second thing is that you have to decide and make the decision that this is what you are going to do with your life. Third, you have to put all your heart and soul into it and never look back.

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Develop The Mindset of Success

Episode #1 of The Successful Musician video and podcast. Musician and educator, Terry Carter helps musicians develop the mindset and routines of success.

I’m excited to release this podcast as it has been something I have wanted to do for quite a while now and it has finally come to fruition.

I have dedicated my life to being a professional musician and educator and have decided to share my passion with you and some of the things that I have learned and experienced along your journey.

In this motivation video, “Develop The Mindset of Success” I will discuss the daily habits and mindset that I learned from Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and Slash from “Guns and Roses.”

You’ll realize that anything you want to achieve in life has already been done by someone else. All you have to do is learn, read, and watch videos of these people and follow the blueprint that they already have written up.

Recently I have strengthened my daily morning routine by getting up at 4:30 AM and running, lifting, stretching, and meditating. This has helped me develop a strong mental attitude.

Once you find your routine your body, mind, and spirit will begin to adapt and love it. Soon you won’t be able to go a day without doing your routine.

You want to believe and already see yourself at accomplishing all my dreams and goals. Don’t wait till it happens to think, act, and dress like a successful person. It has to start now, no matter where you are in life, you must believe and work on it daily in order to achieve your goals.

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